CWL's 20th BIRTHDAY. The people I love coming together to celebrate this special day of mine. Would you believe me if I told you that the box of ferrero rocher is still in my fridge. I've been reflecting on myself a lot lately. I'm self centered, I've always thought that if I can do it, why can't the people around me do it. If I'm strong, why can't the people be strong too. If I've been through it all, then why can't they just do the same. Nobody was there for me when I'm through it so why must there be someone for him now? Why can't he choose the right path for himself, why must he destroy with his own hands everything that he has. If he continues doing this, he is ruining his bright future. He gets to have everything he sets his eyes on, but I just couldn't understand what is he doing, what in the world is he thinking. Sometimes I felt like I didn't spend enough time with my family even though I'm always at home. So I had this sudden urge to hold daddy's hand. The recent Japan's earthquake made me more conscious of the people I have. THE WORLD IS UNFAIR.
Tell me what to do
Its has been a hectic 2011 for me. Sometimes I felt like giving up, everything that I have and live a life without worries, a happy life. I don't mind being a farmer, picking up strawberries. School has been busy, bombarding us with 300 physic questions a week. And that is only one module. Its just driving me nuts, killing me. I've never dreaded going to school for the past nineteen years of my life but now, the thought of school just put me off. I can't wait to graduate from NTU. Three more long, torturing, stressful years. Whenever things turned out fine, the next moment, disappointments engulfed me. When I saw your tears, I wanted to embrace you and tell you that everything was fine, but you pushed me away. I know that its something you desire, your life-time ambition. I would trade every part of me to fulfill what you want. I'm sorry I couldn't do anyting except leaving you alone. Seeing you like this, my heart ripped apart, I want to see the smile on your face. My heart aches for you. All I could do is to pray for you, pray that one day you'll stand up once again. Should I just revolve back to the old CWL that I used to be. Someone who don't give a damn about the people around her, treating everything coldly with no emotions, pushing people who tries to get near her. I seriously need a hug, someone to whisper in my ear, telling me things will turn out fine.