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-SUBJECTED TO CHANGE-
(1)Live by Faith, not by sight
(2)Open an Orphanage in Vietnam
(3)Happy and complete family
(4)Go star-gazing
(5)Walking weightlessly on the Moon
(6)I LOVE THIS TEAM. I LOVE THIS GAME.


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HEY
LIVEJOURNAL.
ALVANA.
CANDY.
EVELYN.
FREDERICK.
GREGORY.
HANLONG.
HUIYING.
JERMAINE.
JIALE.
JIAQIN.
JIAWEN.
JIAXIN.
JIAXIN.
MERLIN.
PSM.
SHU QIAN.
SIYI.
SRJC1S16.
TRICIA.
WANLING.
XINGHUI.
XUELI.
YILING.
YILING.
YINGPEI.
YTSS4E6.
YULING.

CWL's-
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Name.
CHINWANLING
Profile.
Child of God
NINEteen
050391
Church of Singapore(Bukit Timah)
Nanyang Technological University

Wednesday, April 13, 2011-
8:39 PM

Silence kept us connected
In a way that words never could

My dad made me realised how self-centered I've been. He came into my room to talked to me and I noticed this plaster on his arm so I asked if he went to donate blood. He said he went to the A&E this morning because he thought he had a heart-attack last night. At that split second, my heart stopped beating. Scenarios of losing him started flasing into my mind. What if he's gone one day, what would I do. He isn't a christian now so he can't just leave like that. And as I reflected, there's just too many regrets if he's gone like that. I hadn't spent much time with him lately. I felt like I'm just spending too much time with my friends, neglecting my family. My heart aches when I realised he spent his whole night clutching his heart enduring the pain, not even wanting to wake me up. Can't believe I'm crying as I'm typing this. God, please don't ever take my dad away from me.

Once, he was my heart
Should have loved while it lasted

Thursday, March 31, 2011-
10:17 PM

I'm fuming right now and I'm using my blog as a platform to rant my dismay and everything. I'm pissed, irritated with this bunch of church people. Firstly, I won't freaking be by my phone 24 hours a day. I need to freaking do my schoolwork so its common sense to throw my phone aside and concentrate. Next, I don't see a need to reply those texts when you guys already know I have school and still expect me to meet you guys to enjoy? I'm a freaking busy university student who has 300 freaking physic questions a week. I'm not like you all who are busy enjoying your life with no school. Can't you guys just be abit more understandable and considerate. Its not like I'm school-less now and have tons of free time. Seriously just freaking use your brain. Thirdly, I'm so obsessed with school work that I may have mislook your text so I may have forgotten to reply your text. Sometimes I even forget to reply my friend's text and they're okay with it so what make you guys think I have to reply every single text you guys sent me. Lastly, you guys are hypocrites. Any dismay, unhappiness just look for me, why must you guys never fail to complain everything to my cousin. I must say, thanks for pissing and ruining my day zzz.
Should have loved while it lasted

Monday, March 14, 2011-
8:07 PM

I was lost and you found me
I was broken and you healed me
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CWL's 20th BIRTHDAY. The people I love coming together to celebrate this special day of mine. Would you believe me if I told you that the box of ferrero rocher is still in my fridge. I've been reflecting on myself a lot lately. I'm self centered, I've always thought that if I can do it, why can't the people around me do it. If I'm strong, why can't the people be strong too. If I've been through it all, then why can't they just do the same. Nobody was there for me when I'm through it so why must there be someone for him now? Why can't he choose the right path for himself, why must he destroy with his own hands everything that he has. If he continues doing this, he is ruining his bright future. He gets to have everything he sets his eyes on, but I just couldn't understand what is he doing, what in the world is he thinking. Sometimes I felt like I didn't spend enough time with my family even though I'm always at home. So I had this sudden urge to hold daddy's hand. The recent Japan's earthquake made me more conscious of the people I have. THE WORLD IS UNFAIR.

Tell me what to do

Should have loved while it lasted

Monday, February 21, 2011-
8:26 PM

Let asll these feelings
Be washed away by the falling rain
- Its has been a hectic 2011 for me. Sometimes I felt like giving up, everything that I have and live a life without worries, a happy life. I don't mind being a farmer, picking up strawberries. School has been busy, bombarding us with 300 physic questions a week. And that is only one module. Its just driving me nuts, killing me. I've never dreaded going to school for the past nineteen years of my life but now, the thought of school just put me off. I can't wait to graduate from NTU. Three more long, torturing, stressful years. Whenever things turned out fine, the next moment, disappointments engulfed me. When I saw your tears, I wanted to embrace you and tell you that everything was fine, but you pushed me away. I know that its something you desire, your life-time ambition. I would trade every part of me to fulfill what you want. I'm sorry I couldn't do anyting except leaving you alone. Seeing you like this, my heart ripped apart, I want to see the smile on your face. My heart aches for you. All I could do is to pray for you, pray that one day you'll stand up once again. Should I just revolve back to the old CWL that I used to be. Someone who don't give a damn about the people around her, treating everything coldly with no emotions, pushing people who tries to get near her. I seriously need a hug, someone to whisper in my ear, telling me things will turn out fine.

Micky Park Yoochun
Should have loved while it lasted

Saturday, January 8, 2011-
10:55 PM

You are my light
When darkness comes and fills my heart

Sometimes I really wish that my life will be a story. Meeting the one and only guy thats meant for me. I'd always envy the actresses in dramas when they get attached with the guy of their dreams. Even though being together seemed impossible at first, love eventually blossoms between them. Will I ever meet someone whom I yearn to spend my entire life with? What was it like to be in love? How does it felt like wanting to see the person every single day, every single hour, every single minute, every single second? I guess its just too early for me to think of such questions. After watching Mischevious Kiss by Kim Hyun Joong(Y) and reading Baker's Apprentice I discovered a meaningful fact about humanity. Sometimes when you love somebody, you get so scared of losing them that you push them away. So you won't be the one who gets left behind. Oh well, I should just focus on my studies till I graduate from NTU and then I could start thinking about love philosophy. If love is like a math equation with solutions, life would be easier. People won't ended up getting hurt. However, because there's no solutions thus making it seems more interesting. It serves as a double edged sword. On a random note, Mom got a haircut but I prefer her having a long hair. My mind is all over the place, its time to focus and surrender all to Him. I haven't been eating consistently these two days. Just lunch was enough to sustain me for a day.

Kim Hyun Joong
Should have loved while it lasted